ANYA

 This is the man that I plan to entangle Isn’t he fine? My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle Vengeance was mine But I’m out of the biz The name I made I’ll trade for his The only trouble is… I’ll never tell

XANDER

 She is the one she’s such wonderful fun Such passion and grace Warm in the night when I’m right In her tight– embrace, Tight embrace I’ll never let her go The love we’ve known can only grow Theres just one thing that– No. I’ll never tell

XANDER AND ANYA

 ‘cause there’s Nothing to tell

XANDER AND ANY

A He snores She wheezes Say housework, and he freezes She eats these Skeezy cheeses That I can’t describe I talk, He breezes She doesn’t know What please is His penis got diseases From a chumash tribe

XANDER AND ANYA

The vibe gets kind of scary Like she thinks I’m ordinary Like it’s all just temporary Like her toes are kind of hairy But it’s all very well Cause, god knows, I’ll never tell

ANYA When things get rough He just hides behind his Buffy Now look, he’s getting huffy Cause he knows that I know

XANDER

 She clings, She’s needy She’s also really greedy She never—

ANYA

His eyes are beady

XANDER

This my verse, Hello? She–

ANYA

 Look at me! I’m dancin’ crazy!

 XANDER

 You know You’re quite the charmer

ANYA

 My knight in armour

XANDER

 You’re the cutest of the scoobies With your lips as red as rubies And your firm yet supple– Tight embrace

XANDER AND ANYA

 He’s swell She’s sweller Hell always be my feller That’s why I’ll never Tell her that I’m petrified I’ve read this tale There’s wedding Then betrayal I know there’ll come the day I’ll want to run and hide

XANDER AND ANYA

I lied I said it’s easy I’ve tried But there’s these fears I can’t quell

XANDER AND ANYA

 Is she looking for a pot of gold? Will I look good when I’ve gotten old? Will our lives become too stressful If I’m never that successful? When I get so worn and wrinkly That I look like David Brinkley Am I crazy? Am I dreamin? Am I marrying A demon?

XANDER AND ANYA

 We could Really raise the beam In makin’ marriage a hell So, thank god, I’ll never tell I swear That I’ll never tell

XANDER AND ANYA

 My lips Are sealed I take the fifth Nothing to see, Move it along I’ll never Tell